Rabbit in the headlights...

My wonderful Dad died last Thursday 28th July at 15.55 in the intensive care unit of Whiston Hospital, his 5 year struggle with CLL, a form of leukemia, had come to an end along with the suffering he endured in the last 6 months.

Since that day I have felt like a rabbit frozen in the headlights of an on coming car. Everything seems to be happening in slow motion, strangely however the days are flying by, its a wierd paradox. I have so much that I feel I need to write about but can't at this moment in time bring myself to do so as this blog was originally about my poker ambitions, but Dads leukemia seems to have flavoured a lot of what I've written.

I'm trying to get back into some sort of routine as the void in my life created by Dads passing feels like it could swallow me whole if I let it. I know life is for the living but I currently get pangs of guilt if I do anything slightly pleasurable as though its immoral... lets hope this passes soon.

One thing I've discovered at times like this are the true qualities of people and I'm truly blessed to have some fantastic people around me. In my job I get to speak to a lot of people who I would describe as assholes and this was beginning to colour my judgement about the Human race so its been wonderful to have my faith in human nature restored.

I'm back playing online poker after a week off and will endeavour to update this blog on a more regular basis with poker related content being my priority, another priority is to play live poker, believe it or not, its something I've never actually done. Online poker is quite a solitary game and I feel as a single guy being cooked up at home playing poker is not ideal and I don't want to get the image of the local hermit who never leaves the house, so its time to get down to the casino's of either Liverpool or Manchester and play some live tournements, meet some new people and see how it goes.